Xennials Match Report
Opposition: Oxford University Club
Fixture: Lynton & Lynmouth – 23rd August 2024
In what will hopefully come to be seen as true Xennials style, the club’s inaugural match was played on the world’s most picturesque ground. The Valley of Rocks sits nestled in the north Devon coastline, a last gulp of green before the wild expanse of Atlantic.
Various wild men of the Xennials turned up in good time the night before for some carousing, which spiraled dangerously out of control, culminating in a rendition of Panis Angelicus. And so to the windswept ground on Friday 23rd August, where some ceremony was given to the distribution of ill-fitting caps.
The opposition for this first Xennials outing was Oxford University Club XI, staff and postgrads, essentially playing first class cricket in all but name. Having won the toss, Oxford elected to bat and players took the field in 20 knots of wind, bearing south by southwest.
Alex Paget, having been hastily elected captain by the Xennials’ politburo, cast around for Tom Wright to open the bowling, but finding he was MIA was forced to let loose the first (somewhat loose) Xennials delivery himself. Paget and Alex Cherry at the other end, got the Xennials underway, although Oxford scored quick runs with some slightly fortuitous shots and a lot of advancing gainfully down the wicket.
A good few overs in, with the wind in Lundy picking up to 30 knots, gusting 40, Paget was delighted to sight Wright arriving, and signaled for him to take the field and take over the bowling at pace. However, Wright had studied the Xennials manifesto in detail, so instead of obeying he lit a cigarette and engaged the opposition in some affable conversation.
In time Wright took over from Paget, whilst Cherry, who bowled 6 overs with admirable economy for the conditions (4.33), was replaced by stablemate Andy Horrocks. It was Horrocks who got the breakthrough, getting Rathi caught by Johnny West on 66, soon after Oxford had notched up 100.
This brought their number 3, Aziz, to the wicket, who would go to make their other significant individual score (100 exactly). Having flown in from California he was something of a super ringer, clearly announcing, as if to the whole lecture theatre, where he hit each ball and how many runs were to be run.
Oxford sent up a drone to record much of his impressive innings, although it was grounded at the request of ultra-traditionalist James Adair, who wished to concede runs in peace, from his vantage point at cover point.
Soon after their first opener had fallen, West trapped the other LBW for 28, the first of his 2 wickets, his second being a catch held by Adair in the covers to remove their number 4, Maish, for only 8 runs. West was the pick of the Xennial bowlers, delivering 9 accurate and threatening overs at an economy of 3.25.
As Oxford’s score ticked unerringly up Paget replaced bowlers in much the way the Tories replace leaders. Will Bidder, James Felix and James Culver were all to feature, some of 8 bowlers in total to turn their arm, although tension mounted throughout the innings as everyone wondered if Paget would call on the statistically unimpeachable Adair. It wasn’t to be this year and now the pressure will build through the winter months and into 2025.
The fourth wicket to fall was Rowley, who had something of a Humanities Phd look about him, and was caught bowled by Felix for 7 runs, putting Oxford on 198-4. This was perhaps a turning point as Aziz continued briskly to his century, seemingly unconcerned about the dwindling time left in the game.
Their number 6, Sammuller, fell for 26, lulled into a lofted drive by Culver, the ball buffeted by high winds as it sailed in front of Paget at deep long on. Hesitating momentarily Paget then came out of the traps, galloping in his thick, woolen jumper, like one of Sark’s racing sheep, to take a fine catch. Oxford, now on 256-5, were trapped between their desire to crown Californian Aziz with a century and the need to put Xennials in.
Oxford pushed on, with their American number 7, Tari, who wielded his bat with a baseball-esque menace, but he soon fell, caught Felix bowled Horrocks for 3. Not long after Aziz had his hundred and Oxford declared 273 for 6, having batted into the 45th over.
The total would have been far worse for the Xennials had it not been for Stephen Howe behind the stumps, who in his unassuming way was utterly masterful with the gloves. Some would later question what could have been had Howe batted…
Following tea Xennials openers Bidder and Culver got the chase underway, rattling along for the first 6 overs at a run an over, which was a little flamboyant for some of the defensively minded Xennials. Falling behind this rate Culver decided to open up, smiting a 4 and a 6 in the 11th over, which surely must have struck some fear into Oxford hearts, who had now seen that Xennials could score as well as playing like Paget’s ‘hellish limpets’.
Culver fell to a deep catch, top scoring with 20, leaving the Xennials 33-1. This bought West to the crease and still giddy with self-belief the run rate picked up as both batsmen made hay. Then in over 19 disaster struck, with both classically trained Bidder and West falling in quick success, each with 19 runs apiece, the Xennials on 65-3 and drinks taken.
With new batsmen, new hope, as Connor Burrows and Adair took to the crease, in the knowledge that Felix waited in the wings behind them. Whether Paget’s intention to have 3 Old Carthusians to bulk out the middle order cannot be known, perhaps he hoped to summon the spirits of Peter May and Robert Graves. Initially it certainly seemed so, with Adair hitting his first delivery for 4. But sadly Burrows, who on other days has been preeminent, succumbed to yet another catch on 1 whilst his fellow chorister, the irrepressible Felix, went soon after, caught for 3.
With the next batsman Horrocks, who on other days has been a run machine, falling LBW for 3, the Xennials found themselves on 78-6 after 25 overs. This misfortune bought Cherry to the crease, who in limited overs is the lustiest of batsmen, a style and beard that echo the great W.G. Grace himself. However, with only 15 overs left and nigh on 200 to win, he was persuaded by Adair to shut up shop and go for the winning draw.
Some suspicious minds might have accused Adair of premeditating a slow scoring draw long before the first ball was even bowled. This was not so, but finding themselves in this predicament it was clear that Adair and Cherry reveled in the production of a grand variety of defensive shots, with only the occasional rush of blood to the head.
One such moment was the last ball, with the winning draw in the bag, Cherry launched a catch to go sadly (with no N.O.) for 12 off 47 balls, at a strike rate of 25. Adair walked off unbeaten with 18 runs off 51 (SR of 35), much of a muchness with the other high scorers; Bidder 19 off 53 (SR of 35), Culver 20 off 34 (SR of 58) and West 19 off 25 (a slightly vulgar SR of 76).
Oxford seemed slightly surprised by the way in which the Xennials had capitalised on their hubris, exacting a devasting draw which will live long in the memory. On a day in which the ball did not trouble the stumps once, the Xennials were born, wasting no time in striking a resounding blow for traditional cricketing values.
